Cats are superior beings (well that's what they keep telling us!)
Settees are not for sitting on unless you are a cat (and if you are lucky - a human).
There will be three meals a day until you fatten up so there is no need to stash biscuits all around the back yard to forage later.
Hysterical barking will not be tolerated, a gentle squeak or whine will get our attention just a quickly.
Leads and collars = walks and fun days out and NOT being tied up.
Waving and patting and tickling behind ears = love and rewards and NOT being hit.
Walks are for pleasure, sniffing is allowed and happily jumping in and out of water just for the hell of it is to be encouraged!
Shutting of curtains is just that - shutting of curtains, it is not the sliding of barn doors and you are not being shut in a barn.
When Himself blows his nose, it does not mean he is about to hit you - he is just blowing nose (granted it is a noisy blow).
Restless circles around and around and around and around the table will not be tolerated - we'd much rather you came and sat down with us (this little foible soon stopped thank goodness, once we discovered that if we 'anchor' her with a command, a rawhide chew and a comfy bed - then she relaxes and so can we!)
Oh there are many more of these, like I say, she has issues, but she is switched on enough and we are aware that we have to make concessions, to guide and show her that by being calm and gentle, life can be rather good!
The rewards will certainly outweigh the issues - she is such a sweet mixed up dog and she learns fast!
This evening was no exception - the misty hazy sunset was a gentle end to a lovely hot day :)